Evenings: Then and Now

I am quite nostalgic as I write this post. This article is not about any social issue or something that struck me. This is about my relationship with my mumma, papa, Muskan and eventually my husband.

Up until I got married, my ideal day would look like:

“Me getting up at about 7:00am or so, rushing to get ready while mumma would prepare my breakfast and lunch. By 7:30am I would be gulping down the delicious parathas and sabji, and licking the plate clean. By 8:00am I would be off for college/ classes and be back only by 7:00pm.

Mom would have made something ready for me to snack on. I would narrate my entire day to mumma, papa and mussu and they would narrate their day to me. This was (and still is) a ritual we followed religiously.

We always had dinner together and dinner time was strictly family time. Conversations flowed enthusiastically and we were never out of stories. Papa would tell what happened in his plant or about some distant relative’s son’s marriage. Mumma would tell what goof ups she did while stitching today or about some aunty, some bai or something totally out of the blue. Muskan would crib about her school, and that how much homework her teacher gives but never checked or what games she played today evening and stuff.

Post dinner, I & Mussu would fight as to whose turn it was to clean the table and arrange the utensils back to its place. I would catch up on my studies till late at night and everyone else would have slept by then. Of course, Mumma would peep-in in between to ensure that I was doing what I am supposed to do. And she would doze off peacefully only after my room’s lights went off.

Some days when it was a holiday, we would all go for morning walk, come back and read newspaper, Tickle each other, have fun and make tons of memories.”      

Life was beautiful in ways that no one can re-create the magic apart from the 3 of them. When I started working, which was also the time my marriage got fixed, our priorities changed from the worldly matters to the little things.

We would spend more and more time together, stay awake till late just to see more of each other, I would be pushed in kitchen to learn cooking, pushed in my room to learn how to drape a saree (which I am still horribly poor at), we would secretly buy each other gifts and surprises. I would have so much to talk about the “corporate world”. I started understanding what actually happened at “trainings” and “conferences” and “meetings” when my dad too talked about the same. We would exchange silent smiles from the corner of our eyes, knowing that it was all faf. That no one learned anything in trainings, people go to conferences only (or mostly) to get sloshed and drink like a pig and if you are not one of those do, then be assured that feelings of being the odd one out and lost were round the corner.

Then 10 months passed (from roka to shaadi) and I got married. Sure I moved to my new house which was only 12 Kilometers from my house, but I was no more with papa, mumma and mssu. The only thing familiar was my best friend turned fiancé turned husband, whom I had known for over 4 years before tying the knot.

I am lucky enough to “see” evenings only when I leave early from office. And when I do, evenings are more about grocery shopping, preparing dinner, catching up on the laundry, watching Marathi shows with my mother in law (which I simply don’t understand), night walks with my husband, reading a novel before sleeping, texting my mumma good night, sending “kiss” smiley to mussu and making a video call to papa.

My husband understands I miss a part of myself and ensures we sneak out a couple of hours (or more) and visit my parents’ place every weekend.

I am not saying that I am not happy now. This is a different phase and the journey has only begun. Don’t get me wrong here. I am only saying that evenings were different.

Time changes and your life changes with it. Cherish the moments you have before they vanish and become a luxury. :)