That night, after every night

Here's one of the many 1 am stories that wrote a few weeks back. Hope you feel it the way i did :

Like every other night, Lakshmi held her appa’s little finger and the two excitedly walked out from their house Shanti-Niketan, for their daily ritual. The night sky watching.

It all started when Lakshmi was 8 years old. She lived in the remote village of Wayanad, down south in Karnataka with her parents and a dog named Lola.

Appa was a post master and Amma, a housewife. Being the only child, she was a pampered little apple of their eye. They were a happy little family.

Lakshmi’s favourite part of the day was the bed time – story time by Appa. He would tell her stories about the beautiful princess and the tough king, who won the race between rabbit and turtle, what happened in big cities, how a motor bike functioned, why the earth is round and a zillion more things!

It was as if he was a genius and knew it all. The endings and answers were always satisfactory, and that made her so proud.

One day at school, Lakshmi’s best friend Vijaya, came crying. She was inconsolable. After sneaking out of the class, sitting under a tree on the far most corner of their school’s playground and some insistence, Vijaya spoke up.

“My Chikoo, my puppy died last night. It was just after sunset and had started to get dark. While playing throw and catch, the ball went out on the main road and Chikoo ran to grab it. Before we knew, he was ran over by a stupid truck. The driver did not even bother to stop and pick him up. He died on the spot. I miss him so much. I wish I could see him one more time. I …. i… Oh my chikoo!” Said the visibly distraught Vijaya.

“Ssshhh. Don’t you cry. It’s ok. He ll be fine.” Comforted Lakshmi.

That day she patiently waited for her Appa to be back. She had a very big doubt and hoped her Appa would know its answer.

When the dinner was done and the bed time – story time began, she told what happened at school that day.  He listened to her intently and what she felt about losing someone you once loved.

“Where do people and pets go when they die?” asked Lakshmi, looking at her Appa her big black eyes.

“They become stars. The big Shiny Ones.” Smilingly said Appa.

Now Lakshmi knew where Vijaya could look for Chikoo. This answer comforted her in no time and she slipped into a deep, deep sleep.

Weeks passed into months and months into years. Lakshmi was growing up into a inquisitive little lady.

2 years passed and Amma fell sick. Some Viral infection had hit the entire village. They tried every doctor in town and nearby villages, but Amma’s condition was only rapidly deteriorating. She became bed ridden and Lakshmi took a break from her school to take care of her.

It was as if time refused to pass. 3 weeks had passed by, but Amma’s health was worse than ever. Lakshmi could see the bony outline of her eye sockets, the dark circles that encircled them, her shrunk body and chapped lips. She prayed every moment hoping that some medicine or magic might work. But nothing did.

Eventually after painful 4 weeks, Amma breathed her last. Everyone was grieving in their own way. Amma’s sisters were crying loudly, Lola cuddled up in one corner of the bed and refused to bark and Appa kept staring into the emptiness. Emptiness that now filled every inch of his life.

Lakshmi too was sad. But on the inside, she was happy. To finally see Amma lie down peacefully, without any more bitter medicines and physical pain, made her feel good.

After a few days had passed and the guests had all gone, she sat next to her Appa. Lakshmi held his hand tightly and felt his fingers reciprocate. Appa looked at her with his heavy red eyes that seemed to carry the weight of a 1000 tons. He had become a lot more silent ever since Amma had left.

“I miss Amma. You miss her too. Don’t you?” Said Lakshmi.

Appa didn’t know what to say. He missed her presence. The sound of her bangles clanking as she cooked. Her voice when she called them out. Her touch when they made love and the faint smell of her breath.

The more he wanted a little of her, the more he kept getting pulled into the hollowness. This void was slowly, very slowly ripping his heart apart.

“Hmm…” That’s all he was able to say.

“But you know what, I see her every day. We talk about so many things. Amma says she is in a much happier place up there. We must not be mourning any more like this. It only makes her sad. Do you want to meet her?”

Appa looked surprised. He had no clue what Lakshmi was talking about.

“Come with me”

Lakshmi held her Appa’s little finger and they walked up to the river side. They sat on the only bench there. She asked him to look up, pointing at the most shiny star, closest to the moon.

Appa looked up. In agreement he nodded. It indeed was a shiny little star. Also wondering why was Star gazing so important at this moment.

“That’s her. That’s Amma.”

“All good people become stars. You told me. Remember?”

Appa’s eyes were brimming with tears. He looked up again at the star. As he stared at the shining star, he could feel his wife’s warmth. Her presence and the faint smell of her breath, all over again.

As Appa hugged his princess tightly, Lakshmi could feel her father’s heart beats race. She consoled him with all the love she had, while he cried his heart out.

Amma was watching over them from beyond the clouds. She will always be protecting them. Loving them.

The family was complete again :)