Here comes the first post of 2019. Happy Reading, Dear Reader!
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It
was gloomy, but a busy Wednesday morning for Kshama.
“Riya!
Get up beta! You will be late for school yet again!” called out Kshama, while adding
a pinch of salt to the almost ready egg biryani.
Kshama
had decided to make her daughters’ favourite food for lunch. As she wiped the
platform clean with one hand, and placed kitchen ware with the other, Kshama
did not lose track of time.
Just
as the grandfather clock yelled 8:30, Kshama panicked, took a few short breaths,
wiped off her sweat and started to walk towards Riya’s room. It was her favourite
corner in the entire house.
Riya’s
room was complete with blue and white walls, curtains with tom & jerry
cartoons printed, the study table had a small lamp – which a child of 8 years
could easily operate, and the bed was a queen sized one with supremely soft
pillows. The wind chime that hung near the window, was a complicated one, but
Riya usually fell asleep to its tune. Her wardrobe was overflowing with all
kinds of dresses, bands, bracelets and footwear.
Riya
was not just her daughter, but her obsession.
Being
a single mother, Kshama did everything in her capacity to be a father and a
mother to her daughter. She worked extra shifts, late nights and changed jobs
frequently, in search of a better pay.
As
weeks, months and years passed, the guilt of not having spent enough time with
Riya seeped in. This only got cemented when Kshama missed some of her daughters’
major milestones. Like the time when Riya took her first step, Kshama was in Kathmandu,
attending a conference. It was the nanny who ringed her and broke the news
excitedly.
The
other time when Riya held the spoon by herself and took it straight to her fragile
little mouth – without dropping a grain of rice, Kshama was on a con-call,
discussing the marketing plan for new store openings. Even while she was in the
house, she missed it. Of course she saw it when the nanny convinced Riya to
repeat. But she missed the first successful attempt.
On
the first day of school, Kshama was not there to hug her daughter, when she
came back from the school crying and hungry. Innocent Riya tried to open the
tiffin once, but didn’t know how to unlock it. So she didn’t have lunch that
day. By the time she reached home, it was 3pm and she was famished. It was the
nanny who consoled her, hugged her and then fed her to sleep.
So
after 8 years of working endlessly, Kshama decided to take a few days leave
from work, to make up for the time lost. To pamper her daughter. And simply
look at her sleep, talk, laugh, feel her soft skin and place a peck – whenever
possible. The nanny was asked to join the duo only next week.
As
she entered the room, Kshama ran her eyes on the sleeping beauty that her daughter
was. Probably dreaming of a fight sequence from Tom & Jerry cartoon, Riya’s
light grey- half closed eyes were a sight.
Unlike
always, the room was a bit of a mess today. Kshama made herself comfortable on
the bed next to her – and wrapped her arms around Riya. She brought her closer
to her breast and gleefully smelled her hair. Slowly stroking, Kshama began
humming.
She
could not and did not want to imagine her life without Riya. Even the tiniest
act of leaving Riya at her friend’s house made Kshama perspire. She just wouldn’t
settle down until Riya was back home.
So
the fact that Riya had been missing her school for the last 3 days didn’t bother
her as much. Secretly, she was happy to see her all day long. But she really
hoped the smell of Biryani would wake Riya.
“Riya…
Get Up Baby. Mumma’s here” she murmured.
Kshama
hugged her daughter even more firmly now, and she could feel her own heart thud
loudly in the confinement of her ribs. Almost as if it wanted to break free. She
rubbed her tired desperate eyes, and kissed Riya on the forehead.
But
when she didn’t wake up, she let her baby girl sleep a little more. She
continued to snuggle with her – Despite the pungent smell of her rotting flesh.
Waiting
for her daughter to wake up, she let her sleep.
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