The moment i came to know | #Pregnant&Perfect

Ever since I can recall, babies gave me all motherly vibes. Whether it were my little cousins, or random people with their random cute babies, the sight of babies wanted me to hug them, cuddle up, be all mushy-mushy, play with their chubby cheeks, lick their soft skin and own a baby.

You read it right. “Own” is what I said. Until I was in class 10th, I had no clue what all went in becoming a mother (I mean, process wise. I knew you had to get married and all, but no idea about the process of getting pregnant). I just knew I wanted to have babies to myself. Or at least 1, for starters!

But it was only after over 20 years of seeing life, 5 years of dating my now husband and 3 years into the marriage that we were actually ready for the next big step or as relatives call “Settle down”. So we were clear that 2019 would be our special year.

Just the sheer decision got me all excited and I started changing the little things in my daily routine. We visited the gynac who educated us further on how to go about conceiving and taking care of our bodies. Only a healthy body and mind could nurture a healthy baby.

So October 2018 we sealed the deal, and next day onwards I started popping folic acid tablets. I also took a conscious call of avoiding the occasional alcohol, junk food, became watchful of my weight and included milk and fruits as a part of my diet.

Come December, and I got my periods twice within a span of 15 days, which was absolutely NOT normal. I felt terribly weak and feverish the entire time. Not to mention the  mood swings, cramps and vomiting. I had no clue what to expect in January menstruation cycle – as last month was insanely traumatic to say the least.

Any way, our “planning” was mostly on track. But I was still not feeling pregnant. Come mid-January and this time my periods got delayed by a couple of day. Now for someone who has had irregular menstrual history, a 2 day delay was no big deal. We decided to wait and see.

That entire week was the roughest week for me. I felt feverish pretty much throughout the day, there was slight spotting on one of the days in office, my mood swings were at their worst (not exaggerating, ask my husband ;)) and I was experiencing extreme nausea. All of these only made me feel further anxious, not pregnant. This was also the time when my mother-in-law was travelling and so were my parents. So when they came to know about my symptoms, I got a mouthful for not taking care of myself and my father blamed outside food for my condition (parents!).

So after waiting for 2 more days, my husband suggested I take the home pregnancy test. Somehow, he had a feeling that this was it. I was a bit apprehensive, but took it nonetheless. Half-heartedly, I tip-toed to the washroom and did what was needed. At first there came only 1 pink line indicating “negative”, so with a heavy heart I just kept it on the rim of the sink and continued sitting. I was so angry for no particular reason that I was ready to storm out and yell at my husband for making me take the test. I picked up and the test kit and looked at it again, as if looking at it any longer will make a 2nd pink line pop up out of no-where.

This is where I started freaking out. I thought I saw a pink line, extremely weak, but it was there. “F***” “F***” “Adiiiiiiii” I screamed and ran to my husband. I showed him the result but he wasn’t too sure either. So I took the 2nd home pregnancy test kit of a different brand.

This time there was a strong obvious pink line. I mean there were 2 pinks lines! I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was all too blurry for I had tears streaming out already.

“Oh god, Adiii. Look! Oh god. We are pregnant! Are we pregnant? Like really. Oh Shit. Look! Oh god.” This was all I could say while crying my heart out and my husband gave me the tightest and longest hug possible.

His hug felt like an eternity. And so did the positive test. As if we were waiting forever for the little one to arrive. This feeling was new and familiar at the same time. You know what I mean? I don’t know if I am making too much sense as I write this, but it all felt right and familiar. Like I knew what it meant to become a mother. Like I knew my baby already 🙂

As I write this post, I would have either delivered or will be due any time. It hasn’t been a smooth ride, but it has been the most beautiful one possible.

More about the journey and little one in posts to follow.