LOGISTICS INVOLVED IN GETTING OUT OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP #2

Hello Love,

I am thrilled and overwhelmed with the immense love my last post received. Honestly, I did not expect it to stir so many hearts! It was equal parts empowering & heart-breaking when at least a dozen readers reached out to me personally – opening up about their life story, how they got out of abusive marriages/ relationships. If you are someone who has won a battle today, which no one knows of, “Pat yourself on the back Honey” :)

Continuing from where I left, here are 3 more (very) important aspects to keep in mind & execute, BEFORE you confront your partner about getting out of your toxic relationship. I have been there, done that – and this conversation cannot get more real.

1.       No Password Sharing Business

Whether it is your social media accounts, net banking, mobile banking, ATM Pin, bank locker, digi-locker, Payment gateways – ANYTHING – Keep all your passwords to yourself. If in case you have shared any with your partner, but you also know it can fire back and you are not comfortable – change the password.

What’s yours, is yours – and none of their business (and vice-versa).

Like I said in my previous post, that the dynamics in a toxic relationship are highly disproportionate and the abuser usually crosses a line or two in an attempt to control the other partner.  You got to safe guard your personal space, no matter how many attempts it takes. 

Basically – the abuser needs to understand that they cannot walk over any & every aspect of your life as they wish and you will take shit lying down. No you will NOT take shit lying down. And they need to acknowledge and respect your space.

Free Tip** Keep the most unexpected passwords for e.g. Moon&Cockroach@673 or gofcukyourself#999 , See what I mean? :) Not that difficult.

2.       Self- Defense Techniques

It doesn’t matter whether you are 21, 36, 55 or 68 year old. It doesn’t matter whether you are a working professional or a stay at home wife/husband. It doesn’t matter who your abuser is – It is never too late to know some self-defense techniques. 

Even a basic google/ YouTube search will tell you at least 3-5 good points as to where to kick/ push/ pinch/twist if it’s a man/ woman, which are the common weak points/ joints etc.

Unless you are willing to do something for your own safety & security – No one can.

3.      Stridhan – Your legal Right

 

When a woman received Gifts/ Money/ Gold/ jewelry, basically all movable & immovable property– prior to marriage, at the time of marriage, child birth & widowhood - “She has a legal right” on them.

In fact, if a woman’s husband or his family borrows/ exhausts any of this during times of distress, he is under a moral & legal obligation to restore the same. And this is not my whims and fancies talking, but Section 14 of Hindu Succession Act 1956 & Section 27 of Hindu Marriage Act 1955, which says so.

If the abuser is your husband/ in-laws, and you have been put in a compromising situation by being siphoned off of your “Stridhan”: firstly, relax. Because panicking will not help you. And secondly – know that all of that legally belongs to you and Indian laws are highly inclined towards protecting and safe-guarding women’s rights. Only when you are aware of your rights, can you fight them. Right?

Third and final part to this series will be shared next week.

Till then, tell me in the comments below – if you echo with my thoughts, or not.

Also, I know you this babe :)

Stay strong & Stay safe

Shrishti